No longer looking back

“Make peace with your past so it no longer has power over your present.”

Seventeen minutes ago I pushed the submit button for purchasing by graduation cap, gown, tassel and honors cords.  I have to step back and process everything because the last two words of that sentence are surreal.  Honors cords.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would graduate with honors.  Yes, it was always a dream to have it next to my name, but it’s actually happening.  Two years ago I left nursing school to move home.  I was at the lowest point I had ever been.  I was told I would never become a nurse, pass the NCLEX, be successful, or amount to much.  There are moments I reflect on sitting in the chair across from the associate dean and think look at me now.  I walked away from a city, school, friends, and what I thought I wanted.  Now two years later, I am graduating with honors and my future is looking bright.  That future was bleak during the year 2013.   I made some difficult decisions and pretty boneheaded ones as well.  I managed to make the mistake of driving after a few cocktails.  Unfortunately, I suffered the consequences for 12 months.  In those 12 months I managed to get back into school, refocus myself, and pick myself up.  I owe a majority of my success to my parents, these past two years. They have been supportive not only financially, but emotionally as well.  When you have been kicked and feel like the blows keep coming from every angle you want to give up.  Believe me there were many times I thought about throwing in the towel but “my momma didn’t raise no quitter”.  Sometimes we have obstacles in our way not to show how many blows we can take but how strong we are and redirect us on a new path.  I never would have thought I would have worked three jobs, be in school full time all while training for a half ironman.  I have to take a step back and process everything I am doing, because I do not fully realize it. These next four weeks are going to fly by.  I am excited to graduate this time it is on my terms.  Although I don’t have a job lined up yet I am confident something will be happening between now and graduation.  It is weird graduation now vs two years ago may not be with the people I went to college with but with the most important people in my life. Back to the whole purpose of this post.  The past few months I have come to terms with my journey, made peace with my past, and no longer looking in the rear view mirror.  I debated for months to if I should blog about my DUI or to keep it a secret but it was a mistake it’s not who I am as a person.  I am not defined by my past but what I have learned from it.  My mistakes have been the motivation to not end up where I once was.  Without those obstacles I would still be a lost person just going through day to day life without working towards something.