Rewriting my self-love story

“If you want to improve your self-worth stop giving other people the calculator”      -Tim Fargo

For a period of time in high school and college I struggled with an eating disorder. I was a malnourished athlete who counted every calorie entering and exiting my body. I didn’t love myself, I felt I never measured up, and the way I exerted control was by depleting my body of the very thing it needed to get by. food. At the time I was on aderall so it made it easy to not eat, or think about eating. I could go 24-48 hours with just eating negative calorie foods. (I have that list memorized.) Yet, I still wasn’t happy even at my lowest weight. It was pretty common amongst my friends at the time to not eat, barely eat, and count every single calorie. I would hold off on eating to drink with my friends at night, with the thoughts “if I don’t eat, it will only take me 2-4 shots to get drunk which is less than the food I would consume”. I went through periods of binging and purging my sophomore year of college. I wouldn’t eat for long periods of time 24-48 hours and when I did I would eat a burger or a toll house cookie sandwich. I know what your thinking how can you sustain 5 hour workouts on nothing? To be honest I owe it all to aderall. Looking back I was unhappy with myself for not feeling like I fit in or had many friends. For the most part I didn’t enjoy college. I felt I needed to please 20 people and not myself.

During November of 2014, I started reverting back to old habits, not eating and training at a high level. I was in a great place when it came to my school, work, and personal life. I was in a serious relationship but I felt I wasn’t measuring up to what he needed or wanted physically. So I asked for my space while I was working 3 jobs, school and training. I needed to heal myself. He was someone I wanted in my life for the long haul, so I needed to figure it out. His shit was together and I needed to do the same. Yes, my limited time was an issue, I was spread pretty thin. Some days I had to decide between getting gas for my car to see him or eating that day. He offered to help and never had to, he did it because he believed in me. It was time for me to believe in myself. I kept thinking money would fix it but I still felt empty and unworthy. I played tricks on my mind regarding my self worth and how could someone love me, when I have so many jobs and little time. I began picking apart my body and looks. I wanted to love myself as much as he loved me. He was less than thrilled to say the least. It’s funny when you try and work on yourself how people will react. In the past, I have felt I need to figure things out alone rather than with someone by my side. I wanted our life as a #powercouple, he was the one person who I could be completely raw with. But this was one thing I had difficultly doing was asking for help. I shut him out emotionally because I needed to rechannel my love for him to myself. In the process, I lost my best friend the person I looked to for support. To this day, I don’t think he knows how much it hurt me to start loving myself fully and to not say yes at the time to our life together. But, if I continued down the road I was going I wouldn’t be content with myself, our relationship and future together.

You can search, instagram, tumblr, and pinterest, and plenty of other sites to find reasons to not love or like yourself. Trust me I had every site bookmarked and compared myself almost hourly to each. Behind every photoshopped and filtered photo is a real person, but so often that filtered beauty is what we compare ourselves to. Comparing another persons highlight reel to your daily life is a vicious and unhealthy cycle.

I started channeling my energy into myself and making healthier choices. I stopped hating myself and my “flaws” and started to celebrate my curves and blemishes. Eating was still a struggle for a period of time. In training, every part of your life is disciplined and regulated. I started small and began not logging my food and looking it as a race to end up in the negative calorie zone. I use to celebrate when my food app would say “caution you have not eaten enough to sustain your activities”. 2015 was a journey of self love. I learned my mind is powerful and can convince me of anything. Rather than feeding it negative images. I started following healthy bloggers and making a positive shift from negative calories to healthy fuel.

It is easy to be in a negative cycle of self hate. As soon as I started to shift my thinking I started to become the person who set out on her career and unapologetically went for it. I started telling myself 1 positive thought or quote a day. There is something to be said for faking it till you make it. I’ve learned I don’t seek outside validation, I was making my own decisions, what didn’t serve me I was able to say no to and not feel guilty after. My smile began to get bigger through it all. I started to wake up and get excited rather than dread looking into the mirror. I found a new energy in myself and my future. This doesn’t end in a happily ever after. My prince charming wasn’t waiting for me because I chose to write my own fairytale. I have chosen to start being a girl who loves herself first.

Even with losing a very significant relationship, I have gained the gift of loving myself. I have never put pen to paper to explain why I cut him out or why I wanted to work on myself. I did it because the idea of doing it not meant I would be giving up on myself and my potential. I don’t believe he will forgive me for trying to figure my shit out for us. It was the hardest yet most loving thing I could have done for myself and him. The love I have for him deepened through the process as it is still going on. Now I can only be a spectator who is cheering for him and his successes. Realizing how much he loved and valued me is the reason I started my journey and change how much I love myself.  I look back and realize how much I have overcome. I have a reinvigorageted zest for life, and can’t wait to share it with those I surround myself with.

The Chapter of Change

“The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come.”

I lost control of my bike during a 4 hour ride and my body was covered in bruises, they were a colorful addition to my cap and gown the following weekend.  My sister and future brother in law came into town (they are engaged) for the occasion.  I went to Houston, interviewed with lululemon, was handed the most expensive piece of paper I currently own, then raced at Knoxville 70.3.

While at my graduation I sat and applied for jobs on my phone during the commencement speeches, I have always been a multitasker I couldn’t just sit still and enjoy the moment.  After receiving my diploma I got a text asking if I wanted to leave and head to dinner.  Of course!  I couldn’t wait to celebrate with the people I love and who have been through the journey with me from the start.  I wanted a few more people there but for some reason family was all that mattered.  We had the most amazing dinner at Camille’s on the River.  I couldn’t stop smiling. We went back to the hotel and popped another bottle of Moet and went to gamble in the casino.  Sadly, I did not win the jackpot or any money for that matter.  The weekend came and went, next on my agenda was Knoxville.  My mind was racing all week about how I would tackle the 70.3 beast in front of me.  My induction into the sport of triathlon, was defined by wearing only my 1 piece swim suit for the whole race.  No bike shorts with padding.  Needless to say chaffing galore, sunburnt buttcheeks because they weren’t always tucked in,  and a raw tailbone were my prizes that lasted me a month.  In all seriousness, I met some of the people I follow on Instagram in person, and they remembered the girl who wore a swimsuit.  HOLLA.  I don’t recall every mile of the race but despite the rain, no bike shorts, painful bike ride.  I remember feeling like a champ when I finished.  My parents and Oliver were there the whole time and greeted me at the finish line.  It was everything I could have wanted out of a first race.

The two biggest hurdles I had climbed were now in my rearview, next up was finding a job.  Then lululemon sent me an email about getting hired, a company always wanted to be a part of wanted me to join their team.  I was thrilled, but how would it be enough for me to be happy?  For a while I continued to interview with other companies to find a proper job.  Finally one day I defended my job and role to someone and realized I am happy, love my job and it is my passion.  I went through a time where I questioned myself, my relationships, and goals in life. lululemon has helped to realign myself in each of those areas, sure my goals are the same, but putting them down on paper to read and share with others is pretty ballsy.  It is something I have never done before. Successful behavior change often includes deliberate and strategic goal-setting.​

I was pretty selfish last year, I did what I wanted personally to give myself a shot, because before last year I always felt I had to do what others wanted or to look good in my parents eyes.  In looking back I was trying to practice self love, how can you give to someone else when you feel uneasy or unsure about yourself.

This is more of an update and a recommitment to blogging again. I will share more of the parts from 2015 I haven’t mentioned throughout this 2016 year.  My life is less chaotic, I am only working one full time job at the moment, and training for triathlon.  The exciting news I am considering sharing my art and creations on etsy for another income.  In 2016, I am committed to staying connected with friends, blogging, creating my future, and living in possibility.  It’s funny how my life 12 months ago is vastly different on so many levels but so similar.  I am the same person but my vision and goals are much clearer since I am constantly aware of what they are now.

Creating a personal brand

This was never published as intended on May 10th, 2015.

It’s the final countdown to graduation and Knoxville 70.3.  My stomach dropped as I just typed that onto the screen.  Who knew these last five months of school would fly by and turn into days away.  Training on the other hand some days seem longer than others.  Maybe working three jobs and going to school all the while traveling the past few months has helped the time pass by with ease.  However, the whole job hunt these past two months is grueling.  Constantly updating my resume, tweaking Linkedin, rewriting a cover letter, and hoping to receive an invitation for an interview. Yuck.  Today, at a conference about personal branding and the importance of it in the business world.  Yes, I know it doesn’t take a genius to realize how important it is.  But it made me stop and think I have been so busy creating my life and opportunities for myself over my journey in going back to school I haven’t really sat down to think who am I.  I know I can list off a list of qualities about myself and why I am a great catch, friend, sister, daughter, coworker.  But who am I?  What do I want to be known for?  Where is my future headed?  How do I look in the eyes of someone else?  How amazing would it be to be able to step outside of yourself and observe yourself at work, home, with friends, family, really anywhere.  Like Scrooge from A Christmas Carol.  What would we focus on?  What would we critique?  Does it show what we are most concerned about by what we are willing to critique first?   If someone critiques their own clothes, voice, hair, does that mean something different than someone who focuses on how they talk to people, how they interact with others?   I find it fascinating to have these thoughts and share them on paper with other people.  Sometimes we forget to stop and think about how we are presenting ourselves to other people.  For example when you start dating someone you always make sure your hair, clothes, manners, and everything are in check.  Once you begin to get comfortable with the other person you start to wear sweatpants, no makeup, and shocker you may even have a few bodily function slip ups. hahaha.  We are all human so the last one is comical to even consider and how people react to this fact, mostly males.  Is our truest self the one in sweatpants and t-shirt with hair pulled up into a messy bun or the one on the first date in a killer pencil skirt, blouse, and heels that show off those killer calves.  I would venture to guess it is somewhere in the middle.  Balance in anything is important.  Sure, I love to dress up like any other girl but I do appreciate days where I can lounge around and not worry about my hair, clothes, or makeup.  I don’t believe this qualifies me as a slob, rather someone who appreciates those slow days where there is nothing on the to do list.

It’s the final countdown to graduation and Knoxville 70.3.  My stomach dropped as I just typed that onto the screen.  Who knew these last five months of school would fly by and turn into days away.  Training on the other hand some days seem longer than others.  Maybe working three jobs and going to school all the while traveling the past few months has helped the time pass by with ease.  However, the whole job hunt these past two months is grueling.  Constantly updating my resume, tweaking Linkedin, rewriting a cover letter, and hoping to receive an invitation for an interview. Yuck.  Today, at a conference about personal branding and the importance of it in the business world.  Yes, I know it doesn’t take a genius to realize how important it is.  But it made me stop and think I have been so busy creating my life and opportunities for myself over my journey in going back to school I haven’t really sat down to think who am I.  I know I can list off a list of qualities about myself and why I am a great catch, friend, sister, daughter, coworker.  But who am I?  What do I want to be known for?  Where is my future headed?  How do I look in the eyes of someone else?  How amazing would it be to be able to step outside of yourself and observe yourself at work, home, with friends, family, really anywhere.  Like Scrooge from A Christmas Carol.  What would we focus on?  What would we critique?  Does it show what we are most concerned about by what we are willing to critique first?   If someone critiques their own clothes, voice, hair, does that mean something different than someone who focuses on how they talk to people, how they interact with others?   I find it fascinating to have these thoughts and share them on paper with other people.  Sometimes we forget to stop and think about how we are presenting ourselves to other people.  For example when you start dating someone you always make sure your hair, clothes, manners, and everything are in check.  Once you begin to get comfortable with the other person you start to wear sweatpants, no makeup, and shocker you may even have a few bodily function slip ups. hahaha.  We are all human so the last one is comical to even consider and how people react to this fact, mostly males.  Is our truest self the one in sweatpants and t-shirt with hair pulled up into a messy bun or the one on the first date in a killer pencil skirt, blouse, and heels that show off those killer calves.  I would venture to guess it is somewhere in the middle.  Balance in anything is important.  Sure, I love to dress up like any other girl but I do appreciate days where I can lounge around and not worry about my hair, clothes, or makeup.  I don’t believe this qualifies me as a slob, rather someone who appreciates those slow days where there is nothing on the to do list.

No longer looking back

“Make peace with your past so it no longer has power over your present.”

Seventeen minutes ago I pushed the submit button for purchasing by graduation cap, gown, tassel and honors cords.  I have to step back and process everything because the last two words of that sentence are surreal.  Honors cords.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would graduate with honors.  Yes, it was always a dream to have it next to my name, but it’s actually happening.  Two years ago I left nursing school to move home.  I was at the lowest point I had ever been.  I was told I would never become a nurse, pass the NCLEX, be successful, or amount to much.  There are moments I reflect on sitting in the chair across from the associate dean and think look at me now.  I walked away from a city, school, friends, and what I thought I wanted.  Now two years later, I am graduating with honors and my future is looking bright.  That future was bleak during the year 2013.   I made some difficult decisions and pretty boneheaded ones as well.  I managed to make the mistake of driving after a few cocktails.  Unfortunately, I suffered the consequences for 12 months.  In those 12 months I managed to get back into school, refocus myself, and pick myself up.  I owe a majority of my success to my parents, these past two years. They have been supportive not only financially, but emotionally as well.  When you have been kicked and feel like the blows keep coming from every angle you want to give up.  Believe me there were many times I thought about throwing in the towel but “my momma didn’t raise no quitter”.  Sometimes we have obstacles in our way not to show how many blows we can take but how strong we are and redirect us on a new path.  I never would have thought I would have worked three jobs, be in school full time all while training for a half ironman.  I have to take a step back and process everything I am doing, because I do not fully realize it. These next four weeks are going to fly by.  I am excited to graduate this time it is on my terms.  Although I don’t have a job lined up yet I am confident something will be happening between now and graduation.  It is weird graduation now vs two years ago may not be with the people I went to college with but with the most important people in my life. Back to the whole purpose of this post.  The past few months I have come to terms with my journey, made peace with my past, and no longer looking in the rear view mirror.  I debated for months to if I should blog about my DUI or to keep it a secret but it was a mistake it’s not who I am as a person.  I am not defined by my past but what I have learned from it.  My mistakes have been the motivation to not end up where I once was.  Without those obstacles I would still be a lost person just going through day to day life without working towards something.

Dedicating yourself to stay committed

“Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you. It means pushing yourself when no one else is around.”

Many people make promises or commitments and quickly retract, edit, or forget about it. I think as a child I was let down way too often and take a promise and commitment to heart. Don’t make a promise unless you plan on following through or my trust in you will be broken.

Triathlon and maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires dedication and a promise to yourself. It means day in and day out being a tuned in eater, runner, biker, swimmer, and listening to your needs. Sure a doughnut for breakfast would satisfy my sweet tooth but in an hour I would be hungry and left wanting something else to eat. Meal planning has been a easy way to stay on track for my busy lifestyle. I am new to the whole prepping and planning food. I have a few recipes I rotate between and am slowly building muscle and forgetting about food that leaves me unsatisfied and only wanting more.

As I have followed my training plan and meals these past two months I have learned a bit more about myself and what I want. There’s a reason why I feel like I have to do things alone or by myself. Asking for help or someone to join you on a workout is difficult to do. It is extremely hard to find someone who is committed to going to the gym and staying there for 90+ mins. I love walking into the empty cycling studio turning the lights down and just riding for 90 mins and then lifting after. I am doing this for myself and no one else. My mom has joined me for a few of my longer biking sessions. She stays about half the time and then does her thing. I love it. I always ask her why do I love this so much? Why is it so hard to find someone who shares my passion for working out and being healthy? I could list qualities I have but my interests are narrow. I was exposed to plenty of outlets as a child but the one that has remained strong has been my love to get sweaty and relish in sore muscles. Finding someone who is dedicated to something outside of their job is hard to find. People are easily dedicated to TV shows, sports teams, alcohol, etc. Being dedication to yourself does not mean you’re selfish. It means you prioritize your needs. Yes on occasion it means skipping out on a dinner date to train, not drinking with friends, calling it an early night because you have a training session early in the morning.

I admire those who are dedicated to something that’s not mainstream or the popular thing to do. Something that requires discipline. When you date and meet people I’m always interested in how someone defines himself. “Hi my name is ______ I am ___ years old. I work at _____ as a _____.” I always ask what else? What are your interests? What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about? What motivates you? Are you a motivated person? Or does spending the weekend watching Netflix, football and drinking really satisfy you?

It’s hard to connect with people now a days. There are so many things in the world to occupy your time. But what do you pick?  And as a partner are you okay with days where I am going to pick my passion over you? There will be days dinner won’t be on your watch but rather when I finish my workout. And if you’re someone I am going to be with, will you be at the gym with me? I don’t mean someone who works out 1-2 times a week. I want someone who makes it a priority. I want someone who is going to check out my squat and slap my ass after a heavy set. Wait, yea that’s what I want. Like I said this blog is complete honesty, no bullshit. I want someone who helps me reach my potential while I help them reach theirs. This post was all over the place, I started it this past Sunday after 50.5 miler bike session. I reread it today and it still applies. I just needed to put my thoughts down on paper to get it off my chest.

Ridin’ Solo

“Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory.” Bill Russell

I have not trained with someone since I hung up my goggles and suit for the last time. My swimming career during college was far from the expectations I had set out for myself. I often have dreams of racing again. I would love to race masters swimming just to get the adrenaline running again. But back to college swimming I don’t think my heart was in it after I fought through my freshman year. Fighting off mono twice put my body through the washer, dryer and hung me out to dry. The swim team was more focused on partying and drinking rather than competing. Training trips were my favorite time because it showed who trained over break and who didn’t. Our coach Jim, was the most awkward individual I have ever encountered. Some say he hasAspergers, others just say it’s his personality. I don’t think he can command a group of 20 somethings to be successful in the pool. Sure he can write a good workout but that’s about it. He has his few favorites and those with natural talent thrived. That’s why every year we went to conference and pretty much placed DFL (dead fucking last) in overall points. I should have gone to Richmond I told myself freshman year when I swam against those girls. I could have swam at Richmond and lived up to my potential as a swimmer. I needed someone to push me and challenge me if I was going to continue to swim for 4 more years and make it worthwhile. Most days I pushed myself but then again everyone has an off day, but Jim could care less if you gave it everything you had. Also, I struggled through so much outside noise from people, school, life, illness, stress, and anxiety. I let too many things get to me and the one thing (swimming) that use to be my escape just made me feel as though I was drowning. Today, and over the past 3 years I have pretty much trained 95% solo. Sure, since I joined a second gym in January I have a friend who I meet up with to lift weights with. But there’s not a competition between a guy and a girl. We each go off and do our own workouts and chat in between a round here or there. Training alone is what I have grown accustom to the past 3 years. There are days where my mom joins me on a run or at the gym. Sometimes this is a great thing and other times it is a distraction. I love helping her with her posture or giving recommendations for workouts/exercises. However, there are days where I just have to do my own thing. Get in my zone block out the world and do me. This is both challenging and sometimes easy to do. On those long rides I have become a HGTV addict. I need something to occupy my mind for the 1 hr+ rides in the saddle. Working out alone is 100% mental toughness. The willpower and focus a person has determines if they stay on the treadmill for the time the workout calls for that particular day. I can attest to some days where the treadmill is more like the dreadmill. I loathe running inside. I can’t wait for spring to get here because these -20 degree days are killing me. Sure I could run outside in them however when I have to swim after its easier to run on the treadmill and get my speed work in how its suppose to be done. I’m not making excuses it seems to work better rather than dealing with additional factors. Lately, I have questioned this whole quest for a half ironman. Most people don’t understand it. Sure, it seems like a “fun bucket list idea” but for me its not just another check in a box for me. I left nursing school and was unable to finish swimming on my terms. This is something I have control over. The success is up to me. Yes, it’s my first one and maybe I am being ambitious in the time I want to achieve, but I would rather go all in then half way. I feel I have something to prove to myself. Lately it has been mentally exhausting. There have been days where I missed my running session because I just don’t feel like doing it. But when I am finished I feel like I broke down a brick, iron, and steel wall in my mind. However, there have been days where I have let my mind win and not finished my run. It isn’t a cakewalk this challenge. But if something doesn’t challenge you then it doesn’t change you.

The Best Is Yet To Come

Vorfreude: the joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures

The start of a new year often brings excitement for the months to come. I have spent some time planning out each month until May. I graduate from college (finally) with honors and figuring out my next step. I love being a student sadly my bank account does not love the payments associated with being a student. Yes, school has it moments where I don’t want to study for tests, write essays/papers, take notes, read textbooks, or sit in a 5 hour lecture. But this past year it has been the most satisfying time of my life. Finally, I am focused on being a successful student and preparing myself for the future. Now comes job applications. That means cover letters, resumes, interviews, etc. The tunnel that I thought would never end is coming to a close. Yes, graduation and getting my diploma is a stop but after that I go back into the dark tunnel of the unknown. In addition what in the world do I want to apply for? There are 1,000’s of companies and I have 100’s of interests. Ultimately, my dream would be to apply to PA school get accepted and follow that path. Sadly, I need to generate cash flow in the mean time. So the idea of getting a “big girl” job for a few years doesn’t seem like a bad idea so I can financially support myself. Beyond graduation, 2015 is shaping up to be a pretty eventful year. The month of May I have graduation then the following week my very first 70.3 in Knoxville, TN. I know it is a different race than I posted earlier because of the race selling out faster than expected. Needless to say I switched venues and could not be more excited. Also, I am becoming an AUNT! I can’t wait to meet my nephew, Greyson, or as I plan on calling him Baby G. I have always wanted to have a younger brother or sister since I am the baby of the family. I have wanted a sibling so much, in Kindergarden I made up my mom was pregnant and told my teachers in hopes she would miraculously become pregnant for me. I have quite the imagination. Also, this year I am hoping to travel a bit more and visit my sister in Houston. I also have my fingers crossed she may get engaged because after all her boyfriend is already like the brother I never had. I guess this post is mostly about the anticipation for what this year has in store. Everything is leading up to May after that I can honestly say I hope the excitement continues.

Missing in Action

After taking a sabbatical from blogging I am back. Life has become crazy and sleep has been limited. Starbucks aka Starbuckets has been visited multiple times per day to keep functioning. This post is a combination of what has happened over the past month and decisions I have made. I finally decided to pull the trigger and have a date for my first half Ironman (70.3 miles). May 17, 2015 in Chattanooga, TN there is lots to prepare for before the date. I am not much of a believer in new years resolutions. I actually started thinking why people even do them? Whats the point? Unless you truly plan on incorporating something into your life on a daily basis and plan on staying committed. I love the gym commercials this time of year and the slogans they come up with the attract people. I am all for change and people wanting to get in shape by all means. But, the reality is most people who sign up for a gym membership because of a new years resolution fizzle out by March. I know this firsthand because I use to work at a gym. Then everyone comes back before a spring break or spring trip then comes back to get into that beach body form. then again fall off the wagon. If everyone realized that the weight they are trying to take off did not appear there overnight, it is going to take more than 1 salad and workout to fix the problem. I asked my mom to be my triathlon sherpa when I race and she said to me at the gym she needs to get in shape for it because she’s inspired by my goal to race. But honestly my mom inspires me, at 58 she ran her first ½ marathon and wants to do another. She has come such a long way in the past year when she trained for the Detroit Turkey Trot 5k. Thursday morning my family raced together as our annual tradition. She dropped 15 minutes from her slowest 5k time. I aspire to be like my mom when I am her age. She is willing to try anything and help improve her fitness level. I will post my other update later as I am editing it. It has more of a direction than this post. This was more of an update on my missing presence.

Muscle Motivation

“I don’t want another girls body. I want my body, but leaner, stronger, and healthier.”

Fitspiration is all over the internet today, if you search Google you can read plenty of motivational quotes and see girls with muscles. But how often are girls told it is ok to be fit rather than skinny? I personally would rather be muscular than skinny any day of the week. If you asked my opinion a few years ago I would rather have been skinny than to have muscles, even though I was a college athlete. I am guilty of pinning workouts, meals, and quotes on Pinterest to my boards to offer inspiration and serve as a reminder of some of the physical goals I have. Somehow the new fad amongst girls is to have a thigh gap. A thigh gap? This consists of extreme muscle wasting most of your body away to reduce the size of the abductor muscle (this runs up the inner thigh). In no way shape or form is this healthy for anyone to do. I wish there were more positive image of strong girls and females. I think wonder woman is this only strong female action figure/character. I like the idea of a woman being her own hero and taking charge of her life and body.

Dove has the real body campaign which features real women’s bodies in a stance against skinny models promoting products. I see their perspective and where they are coming from, not every girl looks like the Victoria Secret model when they wear their underwear or bras. However, I do believe every woman and girl should love their body. I also believe every woman and girl should try to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

But, doesn’t the Dove campaign seem rather pseudo psychoanalytic of women implying women do not like their bodies for stupid reasons? It is rather patronizing, belittling, and insulting to suggest this. Somehow, this is rather important to someone who has started to love their body because their body is getting stronger. Muscles are not something that makes you girly according to societies perspective. Just because I am a female, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be strong and love my body. Women deal with body shaming not matter if your: fit, skinny, average, heavy, plus size, whatever you want to call it. If a woman is too fit, she’s anorexic but if she’s too heavy, she’s obese. Women need to be more supportive of one another. I can relate to the societal standards of beauty and what is perceived as attractive. I believe transformation can be a radical or it can be a subtle everyday experience.

Today magazines are plastered with headlines reading: “lose 10 lbs in 10 days”, “drop a dress size in a week”, “10 minutes to flawless abs”. I laugh each and every time I read these at the grocery store. I am guilty of reading them just to see what the new “SECRET” is. However, all of those headlines are bullshit. Yes, bullshit. If I can have abs in 10 minutes or in 8 simple steps, I think our nation as a whole wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic issue. I do however, find it ironic we have an obesity epidemic with a skinny jean/legging obsession.

Respect women who have muscles it takes dedication day in and day out, sacrifices, early mornings at the gym, lots of sweat was involved in the creation of a muscular body, changing one’s lifestyle, and competing with yourself rather than anyone else. Being healthy and a girl with muscle requires dedication day in and day out. It is not just a sometimes decision. It involves meal planning and prepping, scheduling workouts, and making sure you push your body to the limit to see results.

Don’t let another person dictate how a woman/you should look. If you have curves and couldn’t imagine another body, love them and flaunt it. If you’re skinny and don’t enjoy putting on weight, you go girl. If you think muscles and a ripped body are what’s right, rock those muscles.

An empty gym is my playground along with the greater outdoors. However, when I go to the gym and get the stare down from the other guys lifting I get a bit of satisfaction when I move my weight plates and watch them take notice of how much I lift. I don’t do it for attention rather myself. I love pushing my body to the limit every time I enter the gym or go for a run outside. The whole reason for this post is learning to love your body and if you are unhappy make changes. There is no greater therapy then creating endorphins at the gym day in and day out. Do your body a favor and start small and begin to make changes you will start to surprise yourself in what you can accomplish. Be the hero of your body and love every single inch of it because it is genuinely 100% you.